President's Column - September 2024
Twenty months ago, in one of my very first articles to you, I explained to you all how 2021 was a scary year full of doctor visits and steadily increasing limitations and disabilities for me. I reported my main complaints/symptoms as: neck stiffness/pain, tight shoulders, numb/stiff fingers and hands, difficulty reaching arms above head, improper gait, lower back and hip stiffness, overall muscle weakness, muscle spasms and major balance struggles. I remarked I felt as if I now lived life as if I operated through a drunken toddler’s body.
By March I had been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis. I was receiving treatment for months without seeing any real improvement. In November I finally had an MRI done that showed I had a pinched spinal cord at my C3/C4 discs in my neck. Because of the severity of the pinch, non-surgical options were not an option at all for me and in December 2021 I had a spinal discectomy and fusion. I remember that I was both scared and relieved to better understand what was going on.
The surgery was a success, and I am thankful for that. I say that, yet I can still report my main complaints/symptoms to be: neck stiffness/pain, tight shoulders, numb/stiff fingers and hands, improper gait, lower back and hip stiffness, overall muscle weakness, muscle spasms and balance struggles. I remain limited in what I can do as my nerves and 
muscles do not communicate the greatest with one another. I have delayed yet extreme reactions to things at times. Touching something hot, hitting a funny bone or stubbing a toe are never particularly enjoyable. But I find when these things happen to me now, my body REACTS… eventually. Probably 10-15 seconds later than I would think it would. I have adjusted. I know now to wait for the reaction so that it doesn’t trigger further events... I am rarely comfortable in any one position for very long.
So many things are different now. My shoe options now are almost entirely sneakers, and slip-ons at that! I still cannot easily tie my own shoelaces, but depending on the lace thickness, texture, width and length as well as my patience level, sometimes I can get it! I don’t know if it’s worth the literal pain in my neck I experience to accomplish this goal though, so I find myself gravitating towards easier slip-on shoes that will hopefully not cause further balance struggles. Thank you, Skechers!
It annoys me to no end how many necklaces, earrings and bracelets I have that I cannot wear unless I ask someone for help. I have many blouses, slacks, skirts and dresses that fall under that same annoying category.
In a post-Covid world, some things are hard to judge on whether I have adapted new behaviors because of my limitations or if it is because it is truly just more convenient sometimes to get my groceries delivered. Regardless of the “why,” I feel I have come to more peace with certain aspects.
Two and a half years post-surgery, I am happy to report that I am still here, and while I can easily get caught up in the frustrations and negative angles of everything I have been through and continue to deal with, I truly do focus on the positives. I still feel myself getting stronger most days. While the recovery I truly felt I would experience has not at all been the reality that I have lived, I can see I have made a lot of progress. I must admit that I find this to be a good exercise for me to go back and truly check in to where I was versus where I am now. After re-reading some notes, the first thing I will share is that I no longer have an overwhelming fear that anything I do might be the straw that broke the camel’s back… or in this camel’s case, my neck. I walked around for quite some time, nervous that any simple act might worsen my situation and paralyze me.
Even though I still experience almost all the same symptoms I had before, I feel the severity has lessened and/or I have them under better control. For how incredibly stiff and tight my body feels now, I recall it was so much worse even just a year ago.
Thinking things through, I feel that this summer is the first season since the surgery that I feel like I have been a bit more active and feel a little more like my old self at times.
My game plan and goals going forward are plenty. I will continue with my regular physical therapy, stretching sessions, chiropractor visits and doctor appointments. I will continue to try and add new things into the mix and keep an open mind. Anything that will help me strengthen myself both physically and emotionally is fair game. Harnessing any extra strength I have regained, my first focus/new intro will be to accept and start working with a Personal Organizer (can someone say new BFF?!). My health issues started amongst multiple home moves (between three different states). Between the number of moves, my physical limitations, downsizing homes and so many more reasons, I don’t feel very settled. Or maybe not as happily settled as I prefer to be. With the peace and help I have found, maybe it’s time to bring my shoe count down to only owning 10 pairs of heels (that I still can’t wear). I shared that joke with her earlier and her reply was “How about two?” Damn, what have I signed myself up for?! I may not be able to part ways with everything, but as mentioned, I have accepted and made peace with knowing I can pay it forward and simplify my space by knowing it will help support efforts to strengthen myself both emotionally and physically.
When my physical therapist asked me recently what my ultimate goal was, I shared that it was to be able to not run a half marathon again. I just really want to have that choice again. I’d choose no but I want the option to do so!
I am not quite there yet. My current reality is that sometimes I am a little overconfident in my abilities and strengths and at other times I will surprise or impress myself with a “new” accomplishment.
I have found that sometimes the world turns things upside down on us… It’s hard and it’s uncomfortable but you just have to keep trying and you have to keep going.
Sometimes, I will flip myself right on upside down too in response to that challenge! I have found that putting my “feet up” at times helps slow things down and allows me to see and understand things from another perspective. It helps me know and say, “OK upside-down world, I got this…. I think!”
I feel a strong determination that I can and will get better. I may or may not. But I can promise you, I won’t ever stop trying.
Jennifer Thoroe is Director of Customer Service & Business Development for National Steel Rule, a steel rule manufacturer based in Linden, NJ, USA. She joined forces with National on November 1, 2018 after working in the industry and volunteering with the IADD for over 15 years. She moved up to NJ from GA in the summer of 2019. One pandemic and three moves later, Jennifer is finally settling into her home near the Jersey Shores with her awesome super-fantastic brother Tom and his even cooler dog, Kelowna.
She has consistently used her time and talents to bring greater value to IADD members, whether through chapter activities, managing volunteers, Board service or overseeing myriad membership recruitment and retention activities. For this, Jennifer received the 2017 IADD Cutting Edge Award, one of the Association’s highest honors. She is the first woman to serve as IADD president.
The President's Column appears in The Cutting Edge, the IADD's monthly magazine.
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